April Fools!
by SetoAngel01
Summary: Ash plays a few pranks on Johnny to celebrate April 1st but it doesn't all go exactly as planned.


**April Fool's!**

 **Rated: T**

 _Story Summary: Ash plays a few pranks on Johnny to celebrate April 1_ _st_ _but it doesn't all go exactly as planned._

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 **I didn't intend to do an April Fool's Day one-shot whatsoever. You can probably tell by the hurried nature of it but I had a time crunch (basically a few hours) haha. Hope y'all enjoy regardless. Perhaps I'll be better prepared next time. :-p**

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Fair to say, living with Johnny was MUCH better than living with Lance had _ever_ been.

Johnny was a very clean individual. Both in his own personal hygiene and always picking up after himself (already a vast improvement over a certain asshole ex), gladly completed his fair share of the household chores, paid half the rent and bills early, cooked dinner without nearly burning the apartment down, was happy to grocery shop with her where he always paid for both of their food, didn't hog the covers, kissed her goodnight while smelling like fresh mint toothpaste rather than the remains of dinner, and wasn't afraid to be really damn cuddly on those extra cold nights (or in general).

He was also gorgeous, muscular, and an absolute dynamo in the sack but that was beside the point.

Let's just say Johnny being her boyfriend and them making the step to move in together (after more than a year of dating) was perhaps the greatest decision of her life.

That doesn't mean she wasn't against messing with him though and what a better time than today - April Fool's Day.

Yet another holiday she didn't celebrate much because it was yet another that Lance typically despised. Whenever Ash tried to prank him, he ended up angry or huffy; calling her childish and his overall demeanor was a bit more exciting than a wet paper sack when it came to harmless pranks.

That was then, this was now.

Unlike Lance, Johnny had gusto; a zest for life. Not at all afraid to try new things and he _never_ had gotten upset with her. Which if you knew some of the stuff she did over their time together, she probably deserved it on more than one occasion but Johnny just gave a patient smile and helped her clean up whenever she'd made a mess. It was either when she was trying to cook, or dropping a new jar of pickles because of wet paws, and the few little pranks she pulled like drawing on his face and chest with a Sharpie when she spiked his eggnog during one of Mike's wild Christmas Parties.

It was a beautiful thing really.

Ash was adamant to enjoy this day and what better way than starting with mayonnaise in the toothpaste tube?

 **4:00 am**

The porcupine looked to her left where Johnny lay still dead asleep. The covers at his waist; back rising and falling with steady breaths.

Ash smiled at the sight before silently climbing out of bed and heading to the bathroom to grab the toothpaste tube than the kitchen to start her devious plans. It may cost her a night of sleep, but she knew it was going to be worth it.

 **6:15 am**

Ash feigned sleep; trying her damnedest to remain quiet as she heard Johnny let out a deep groan. His weight jostling the bed slightly as he rolled onto his back and let out a yawn, the slight growl leaving his throat as he stretched his arms over his head. She'd seen him do it enough to know that was the first thing he did when he awoke.

Suddenly all too aware of the weight of his eyes upon her face before she couldn't help but flinch as his lips suddenly brushed her cheek. Experiencing his constant sweetness made her feel kinda bad about what she was about to put him through today.

Johnny nuzzled his face against her cheek, nose brushing over her ear before his incredible warmth was suddenly gone. Ash listened intently. Johnny putting his legs over the side of the bed to put his pants on before he stood up. Footsteps rather quiet as he made his way to the direction of their bathroom.

Ash fought a smirk when the sound of the door closed.

"BLECK!" Johnny suddenly yelled, "Is this bloody _mayonnaise_!? **Blugh**!" muted sounds of him spitting and gagging filled her ears and Ash burrowed further into the covers to cover the few breathy giggles that escaped.

 **6:30 am**

Finished with his shower, Johnny opened the door, the barest hints of steam and freshness filling the air around her as Ash made a big show of waking up. Stretching her arms over her head before her eyes fluttered open to see her very nude, very wet boyfriend.

As pleasant of a vision it was, it was more satisfying to know her other planned work.

"Johnny?" she asked innocently, her eyes gently skirting over a drip of water that cascaded down his heaving chest. Because damn, who could help themselves?

"Um…where's the towels?" he asked, kept glancing down at his bare feet where the carpet was starting to get soaked from his dripping pelt.

"Oops, yeah - they're in the laundry." Ash replied with a high-pitched yawn; perhaps overplaying the part a bit too much but she didn't care. She hoped she adjusted their bedskirt enough to hide the pile of clean towels folded underneath the bed.

"Oh." Johnny seemed a bit confused at first, the cutest expression lifting his brow ridges in thought but they fell quickly.

Ash watched as he looked around for a bit and decided to slink back into the bathroom and came out a few seconds later with his pile of dirty clothes where he was trying to dry off as much as possible with his discarded shirt he wore yesterday. It seemed to work well enough and Ash relaxed back into the covers and waited.

 **6:45 am**

Drying himself off as much as possible, Johnny finally got underwear and jeans on, his hair still drooping forward slightly as he went back into the bathroom where Ash was up and brushing her teeth. Smiling around her toothbrush where she'd put toothpaste from a hidden tube atop it.

Johnny caught her actions and had a quizzical look before he muttered, "…does the toothpaste taste okay to you?"

"Hmm?" making sure to have a confused stare plastered on her face, "Uh, yeah." she answered around the brush making sure to furrow her brows. "Minty." Ash finished with a bright smile, the toothpaste bubbles causing her to talk with a slight mumble.

Johnny looked confounded by her answer.

"Why?" she asked cheekily.

"...no reason." he chuckled lightly; letting go of the topic fairly quickly. Brown eyes averted from her as he made his way to reach underneath their sink and pulling out the hairdryer.

As Johnny plugged it in, Ash hid another smirk by spitting in the sink and rinsing out her mouth.

With the sound of the hairdryer turning on, Ash braced herself when there was a sudden cloud of baby power that whooshed out and filled the bathroom.

" **GACK!** " Johnny spazzed, coughing and hacking before quickly powering it off where Ash turned around to see the scene with widened eyes.

"What the _hell_ , Johnny?!" Ash freaked out quite convincingly as she flailed halfheartedly to get the powder off of her. Now having to bite the inside of her cheek to keep out from howling in laughter when she turned and her boyfriend's luxurious black pelt was now covered in a fine white powder. His brown eyes popping open giving the stark contrast to his now perfectly white canvas. He looked like an albino gorilla and it was possibly the cutest fucking thing she'd ever seen.

The confusion lacing his face was priceless; Ash was now wishing she set up a camera to further savor this moment. Johnny stared down at the device, shaking his head to dislodge some from his face and it just misted everywhere.

"Johnny!" Ash screeched as she was misted with a powdery spray.

"Sorry, Love…I - I don't know what happened…" Johnny sounded positively confounded as he looked back down in the under-sink cabinet and there lay a container of baby powder knocked on it's side right by where the hairdryer was stored.

"Oh…bollocks." he grumbled as Ash inwardly celebrated another victory.

This time, Ash helped him clean up, vacuuming the powder up and wiping down the surfaces with a damp cloth. Sure, it sucked away an hour of time but damn, was it worth it.

 **8:30 am**

"Would you like some eggs?" Johnny asked with his head in the fridge.

"No thanks, baby." Ash replied before taking another languid sip of her coffee and turning another page of the local paper; yet another perfect thing to hide behind.

"If you change your mind just let me know."

"Sure thing."

Ash surreptitiously took a few peeks; watching him from the corner of her eye as her next plan was being set into motion.

Johnny grabbed the carton of eggs and orange juice from the fridge. Placing them aside before grabbing a skillet and putting it over the flame with a few clicks from the stove. Ash smiled hearing him hum out a familiar tune as he put in a few slices of bread into the toaster and poured a glass of orange juice as he awaited for the pan to get hot.

Everything that boy did was way too cute. It almost made her feel bad about all her tricks today… _almost_.

Once the pan was thoroughly heated, Johnny opened the carton of eggs and cracked a few against the side of the pan and cracked open the shell only to be greeted with cooked egg white. The hard-boiled egg breaking and parts of the cooked yolk plopping into the skillet with a small sizzle.

The bewildered look that crossed his face had her hiding behind the paper, her bottom lip in a death grip as she valiantly bit back the laugh that almost escaped. It only got better as he kept going through the whole carton and kept getting the same result aside from the last three eggs which she left uncooked.

When Johnny joined her from across the small dining table she put the paper down and smiled at him. His lip worried between his teeth.

"Something wrong?" Ash asked, reaching over to steal a triangle of toast from his plate and nibbling on its buttery edge with all the innocence she could muster.

"Huh? Oh. No." he said behind a chuckle, "We just need more eggs is all." he answered with a shrug before starting to eat - obvious confusion still apparent by his furrowed brows.

"Sure. I'll put it on the list." Ash smiled into another bite of toast.

Operation breakfast complete.

 **2:30 pm**

Ash gave Johnny a few hour reprieve.

Still wanted to keep him wondering and she feared if she bombarded him constantly today like she wanted to, he'd catch on. In a great wave of luck, Johnny seemed to be none the wiser or even the least bit suspicious of her activities. He did seem a bit lost in his head (which probably had to do with his solo performance at the Moon Theater next week) so it all worked out greatly in her favor for her upcoming plans.

The harmless pranks she'd been planning had gone well so far but she was running out of ideas and wished she'd prepared more last night. It was hard to do much now that he was around and she could easily be caught yet she still had a few tricks up her sleeve.

Ash sat on the floor of the living room, her guitar in her lap as she played a few notes to a new song she was writing. Johnny was nearby in front of the piano practicing for earlier mentioned set. It was a quiet afternoon thus far and Ash glanced at her clock; her boyfriend's schedule almost memorized and it was about time for his afternoon tea.

"Such a stereotypical Brit." she thought with a small smile; suddenly hearing his playing stop and the piano bench squeaked loudly as he moved to stand up.

 _Just on time…_

The few sounds from the kitchen went off as usual. The water filling a kettle the whistle when it went off and Johnny humming as he poured the hot water atop the tea bag; the scent of brewed tea filling the air. The final noise one of the sugar jar opening and him getting a few spoons of sugar and plopping them into the cup before the clink of him stirring them in. The sounds were comfortingly familiar but the abrupt, " **BLECK**!" Johnny spewed.

It was apparent this wasn't the norm.

"...I-Is this _salt_?!" Johnny groaned from the other room, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand in obvious disgust.

 _Showtime._

"It is?" Ash sounded surprised as she placed her guitar aside; walked into the kitchen where he'd just taken a big swig of saltwater tea.

" _ **Yes**_!" it was almost accusatory and Ash worried for a second he'd figured it out but she was quick to cover her bases.

"Wait. Aren't **you** the one who filled them yesterday?" Ash furrowed her brows slightly, arms crossed as if daring him to blame her for this. The last thing she wanted to do was give herself away.

It dawned on him slowly as he thought back. Indeed he had even if he didn't know she switched the contents of the containers last night when he was fast asleep.

"...Oh…Yeah, you're right. Oops. Guess I've been distracted as of late. Heh." Johnny chuckled, scratching the back of his head in slight embarrassment. "Sorry, I-I'm just glad it was me and not you."

The sincerity in his voice couldn't help but feel slightly awful. Johnny was just far too sweet even as she was doing all of these less than kind things to him without his knowledge.

Yet it didn't stop her from continuing her April Fool's Day fun. It only came once a year after all.

 **5:00 pm**

After yet another successful prank after a rather uneventful dinner (other than a squirt of vinegar in Johnny's lemonade) Ash sat at the couch rather proud of herself as Johnny went around the house searching for a non-existent spider.

"Where could it have gone?" Johnny grumbled.

Ash smirked, recalling her own dramatic performance. Freaking out when seeing the ghost spider and running from the kitchen in an utter panic - screaming hysterically for Johnny to kill it. Him being the protective boyfriend instantly went in there to do exactly as she asked.

Even if there wasn't a spider at all.

Yeah, it wasn't exactly a prank but she was running out of ideas. Innocent ones anyway and she wasn't about to put itching powder in his boxers, "Devil's crotch" hot sauce in the mouthwash, or using ketchup to fake a bloody cut as she cut up something for dinner so she had to settle for more tame pranks. She loved him too much to potentially hurt him either physically or emotionally (which seeing her hand covered in blood would definitely cause him).

"I don't know but it was so fucking **huge**!" Ash shuttered, wrapping her arms around herself and further burrowing into the left corner of the couch. She could be a great actress when she wanted to be.

Johnny sighed, eyes darting here and there before meeting hers.

"Well, if you see it again, let me know. Maybe just put a cup over it or something next time. Makes it a little easier to find those little buggers." Johnny replied, slight frustration leeching out from his heavily-accented voice.

"Yeah. Sorry." Ash chuckled.

"It's alright." Johnny smiled while walking over to her and plopping next to her on the couch.

Both sitting side by side for a bit before Johnny glanced over at her. Ash watched eagerly as he leaned against her for a minute, lowering himself to give her cheek a languid kiss as his hand moved to tenderly cupped her face while doing so. When his lips vacated her cheek, Ash smiled, breaking character for a minute to grasp at his face. Placing her mouth over his for a few stolen moments.

Once she pulled back and released him, he smiled at her.

Pushing his forehead against hers in a gentle nuzzling motion which had her giggling against his mouth. Ash couldn't help but kiss him again, lips lingering longer this time and he tilted his head to even deepen it further. Johnny pulled back a few moments later and she was prepared to close the distance when he spoke.

"You going to be okay here for yourself for awhile?" Johnny asked suddenly and to say she was surprised was a sore understatement.

"What?" she asked, fingers still desperately clutching his green sweater; kinda disappointed their impromptu kissing wasn't leading to other things.

"I'm gonna run to the store real quick to get a couple things we need. Didn't know if I should leave you here alone with the spider or would you like to come with me?" Johnny offered but once she glanced down at her attire or lack there of (just a tank-top and panties on), she realized she _really_ didn't want to get dressed.

"You know we need eggs and that milk went bad even if the date was fine."

Ash had to admit that perhaps putting vinegar in the milk was not the best idea even if it was funny seeing the look on his face as he poured the chunky substance over a bowl of cereal.

"More more sugar perhaps I should buy some Raid for next time…" Johnny continued; he must have mentioned/listed more things when she was thinking of her vinegar prank.

"Sounds good." Ash covered her tracks, listing her arm so she could languidly run a finger to trace down his sternum kinda hoping he'd stay here a little longer. "You need to go right away?" Ash muttered, leaning into him and brushing small kisses along his abdomen.

"Hmm…" he seemed unsure for a second before she continued, "Yeah. I better head out before traffic gets too bad. Sure you'll be alright?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah." Ash replied and hoped she didn't sound too enthusiasm about him stepping out for a bit. It _would_ give her more time to set more stuff up after all.

Johnny just smiled, giving her another kiss before standing back up. Putting on his leather jacket and shoes before heading out the front door of their apartment with a wave.

 **7:15 pm**

Ash began getting a little antsy by the time Johnny returned through the door.

"What took you so long?" Ash asked in a huff, barely concealed relief lacing her voice. She hated when he took too long - always worrying about him even if she knew he was most certainly okay. She also hated calling his phone when she worried out of not wanting to sound desperate or a worry-wart.

Ash was just glad he was home.

"Traffic was nuts." Johnny explained as way of explanation, brushing a few scattered snowflakes off his jacket, the brown paper grocery bags perched in his arms as he kicked off his shoes so he wouldn't track any debris on their carpet.

Ash followed him into the kitchen, allowing herself to take a few deep breaths by the time he deposited the bags onto their dining room table. She climbed onto a chair and watched as Johnny began emptying the bags and all the items on their list were revealed one after another as he began placing them onto the wooden table.

"Are the roads slick?" Ash asked when the silence became too much.

"Not really. The snow is still coming down pretty good but it isn't sticking. Let's hope it's the last time this year." Johnny answered as he went back and forth between putting items in their cupboard and fridge.

"Yeah, I hope so too." Ash muttered, tempted to help but Johnny was always much faster without her having to climb on her little step-stool to even reach their kitchen counter-top.

Once both bags were almost empty, Ash was surprised when a square box she didn't expect to see was revealed.

"What's that?" she couldn't help but ask curiously.

"Oh. Yeah, I bought you some chocolates. I felt bad I was taking so long I thought I'd pick you up a little something to make up for it." Johnny explained, handing her the box.

"Uh, thanks." she replied and felt more horrible than ever after everything she put the unknowing Johnny through today. Johnny was always bringing her things; either flowers or her favorite snacks so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary - just enough to make her feel slightly guilty about what she'd done.

"You're welcome." he said. Folding up the brown sacks and placing them into a drawer to be recycled for later use.

On the tip of her tongue was her asking him to do something that would put in motion another prank but she swallowed it back. She had her fun today and she'd rather just relax with him than continue her diabolical agenda.

"Hey."

"Yeah?" Johnny asked.

"Wanna watch a movie or something?"

"Sure. Let me just change and I'll be right there."

Ash smiled at his turned back before she grabbed her box of chocolates and made her way to the living room and awaited Johnny's arrival. She was sure to place the box on the coffee table as she made herself comfortable on the couch with lots of blankets and pillows.

Perhaps a different kind of plan would come to fruition tonight…

"What are we watching?" Johnny asked. Being very distracting in only a muscle shirt and boxers as he waltzed into their living room.

"I dunno. Why don't you choose?" Ash replied with a shrug, patting the seat next to her where he gladly sat. She immediately curled up by his side; enjoying his warmth whilst he grabbed the remote and started flipping languidly through the guide to try and find something they'd both enjoy.

Ash more or less ignored the television, pulling away from him for only a moment to place the box of chocolates atop her lap. Undoing the ribbon and cracking open the top, she stared at the beautifully arranged chocolates. It must have been from a gourmet store with all the colorful designs and glitter powders covering the majority of them and they were dark chocolate…

Johnny knew her so well.

Picking the best looking one, Ash sat back. Leaning against his mass of fur and muscle as she popped the delicious thing in her mouth…

…and promptly let out a " **HURK** " the second she bit into it.

Ash was immediately greeted with the most _disgusting_ thing on the planet - the horrid taste of a huge pocket of yellow mustard that was hiding inside glistening, jewel-shaped chocolate.

Little did she know that Johnny had been watching her the whole time, a barely concealed smirk arising on the corners of his lips as he stared at her nauseated expression.

"April Fools." he laughed and Ash despised how cute it still sounded even if she was sorely tempted to strangle him right now…he _knew_ how much she _despised_ mustard and _loved_ dark chocolate.

What a dirty fucking trick!

Where did he buy these dastardly chocolates from hell anyway!?

"Aww, Ash! They can't be _that_ bad, can they?" Johnny asked when he no doubt noticed the glint of murder in her eyes when she finally turned her head to glare at him. "C'mon, Love. I had to get you back somehow after everything you did to me today."

Ash's eyes inadvertently widened - he _KNEW_!?

 _ **Dammit…**_

Still didn't stop her glare; eyes cold as ice as she stared at him. Johnny smiled and of all the things to expect right at this moment - a kiss wasn't one of them.

Johnny leaning down to press his lips to hers and she wouldn't lie, it was very satisfying to see him pull back with the regretful look plastered on his face. Not the best idea to kiss someone who had a chocolate and mustard truffle still lacing their lips and most of it still lingering on their tongue.

Ash refused to swallow any of it…

"Not so great is it?" she angrily mumbled around the revolting thing.

"...I'm **so** sorry, Love." he looked like he committed an unforgivable sin (which in her mind, he had); the guilt lacing his face had her almost feeling bad but her pranks were more innocent…this was just **despicable** …

Johnny looked so guilty the more he noticed how her frown deepened and brows furrowed angrily. Worried brown eyes glanced down to the still open box and almost automatically, he grabbed three of them and tossed them unceremoniously into his mouth and bit down.

That was all it took.

If she wasn't worried about vomiting, she may have smiled at the horrid look of abhorrent disgust that suddenly overwhelmed his face. The expression not one she'd ever seen on him and it almost made her own agony bearable… _almost_.

"I'm sorry." there were legit tears in his eyes as he looked down at her.

Ash just flashed him another look.

"I won't do that again…I swear."

"You better not." Ash grumbled almost inaudibly.

"...may I spit these out now?" he mumbled around his own mouthful.

Ash shot him yet another dirty look still feeling a bit pissed that she actually fell for something so blatantly obvious but she gave her consent with a stiff nod. She supposed he suffered enough for his sins.

"Thanks." he sounded so relieved as he rose to his feet.

On his way to the restroom, Ash spit out the remainder into a tissue from a nearby box - the relief was almost immediate.

It only got better.

" **HURK**! Bloody mayonnaise _**again**_!? **ASH**!" Johnny howled from the bathroom and Ash didn't even bother hiding the uproarious laughter that immediately escaped her throat.

"A-April Fools!" Ash was able to get out between bouts of laughter and the sound of Johnny frantically spatting into the sink.


End file.
